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Christian youth groups finally have an alternative to normal, aka "front," hugs. As we all know, face to face embraces run the horrific risk of a clothed crotch graze. The Christian Side-Hug (or the CSH, as the kids call it) rids us of sin, as the only below the belt contact will be some good old-fashioned hip on hip action.
To help the side-hug fad sweep the nation, let us present this hardcore rap song. Yup, side-hugging has hit the streets. The group has as many emcees as the Wu-Tang Clan and as much power as a barbershop quartet.
Did you catch the political references?
Pound like Obama.. Democratic Shift In Congress alarm sound going off
"No Front Hugs and No Kissing!"
"As for all of you, before you say I do, no front huggin or PDA, or easy time and screw"
"When I hug people I leave room for the holy spirit"
What's your favorite part? Or are you sinners too busy getting front hugs to watch that video?
Today I had an awesome time learning about and sharing some disturbing facts about the group ACORN. Most of these are tweets I shared, the ones that aren't are in parenthesis. If you want to know what this is about, go on twitter and search for #ACORNfacts.
Acorn is the person next to you at the gym that grunts way too loudly. (@KittenGator)
ACORN used the government to change depression era safeguards then left for Enron to cash in just like her husband Phil Gramm
You know that person that cuts you off then drives reaaall slow? Yep, Acorn. (@KittenGator)
ACORN advises Bill Maher about #vaccines
ACORN advised Mark McGwire before his Congressional Testimony
ACORN approved Barry Zito's last contract
ACORN always spoils the game for me when I have it TiVo'd
ACORN censors the net in China
ACORN ignored the August 6 PDB. (KagroX)
#Acorn stood outside of a townhall meeting with an AR-15 slung over its shoulder. (@Lorenjones)
ACORN does it's little turn on the catwalk
ACORN is responsible for pizza being terrible West of Kansas City
ACORN keeps @CliffSchecter off the air because truth hurts Republicans' feelings
ACORN is the only reason George Bush didn't take us to Mars
ACORN securitized mortgages - led to an unregulated market of toxic assets crashing the economy putting poor people out of work
ACORN promised that the Iraq War would only last six days six weeks, they doubt six months
ACORN doesn't care about black people. (@labgrrl)
ACORN believes our education over here in the US should help the US or should help South Africa and should help the Iraq
ACORN lost pallets of cash in Iraq and electrocuted American troops as they showered.
ACORN is a Raiders fan, taught Jamarcus Russell how not to throw accurately this side of 75 yards
ACORN is being inappropriate, Larry
ACORN misses Chris Farley
ACORN directs a lot of weird Japanese porno
ACORN TOOK MY JOB!
ACORN's tree is kind of on my property
ACORN spent all of Nick Cage's money
ACORN put high fructose corn syrup in everything
ACORN invented the term "Bipartisanship" in 2009
ACORN started a mafia war in my farm town
ACORN ate the dingo that ate your baby
ACORN dropped Steve Doocey on his head when he was a baby
ACORN puts misleading footage on Fox News broadcasts
ACORN stole the Lindberg Baby, and registered him as a Democrat
ACORN rigged the vote, TIM #LINCECUM IS CY YOUNG WINNER!!
@cliffshecter ACORN does Ben Nelson's hair
ACORN NEVER WANTED to do government contract work. They were hoping to get fired so they could do dancing with the stars
Glenn Beck works for ACORN, Actually three of his personalities do.
I'm gonna copy some more of the funny ones and add them to the comment.
So please everyone.. if you value mini-zoos and golden parachutes for executives over the life of yourself and your family, vote against a public insurance option. If we can get a health insurance mandate (force you to buy insurance) and no cost control with a public option, then some executives might be able to buy that solid gold train to safari through their backyard mini-zoos.
Dday wrote a great diary over on the Daily Kos. Not only did he point me towards Stephen Colbert's episode tonight, but he gave me some excellent trivia. Remember the Ambiguously Gay Duo from TV Funhouse cartoons on SNL in the late 1990s? Stephen Colbert and Steve Carrell were the voices for the duo, I had no clue.
Dday wrote about Colbert's show last night
And despite being on a Viacom-owned network, Colbert says, skewering the immorality and psychopathology of the corporation, "Corporations are legally people... they do everything people do, except breathe, die, and go to jail for dumping 1.3 million pounds of PCBs into the Hudson River."
There's some backstory to that remark. Colbert actually worked with Robert Smigel on the "TV Funhouse" bits from Saturday Night Live (he's one-half of the Ambiguously Gay Duo), including the infamous episode from March 1998, Conspiracy Theory Rock
Sessions, in a casual tone, said "Mr. Henderson, It's good to work with you. Senator Leahy and I are talking during these hearings, we're going to do that crack cocaine thing that you and I have talked about before."
After an awkward pause, Henderson laughed to himself and said, "Thank you, Senator, I appreciate that."
It turns out it was a harmless mistake
While the Senate gallery laughed, and witnesses including NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg and former FBI director Louis Freeh snickered, Sessions sputtered, "Let me correct the record."
Sessions explained: "I misspoke. We're going to reduce the burden of penalties in some of the crack cocaine cases and make them fair."
Now that's something I can agree with. See more on the real issue of federal drug sentencing equity by Senator Leahy below the fold.
Wow! I can't stop watching that.. it has to be contrived. Or do you think that's natural for her? Usually when you hear someone talking about tennis players screaming it's a sexual thing. This... not so much. Haha :)
This is a very funny clip from The Daily Show last night.
Love the part on changing St. Patrick's day to Potato day
Also clip on "Minnesota Representative and free-range Cougar" Michele Bachmann and her re-education camp quote. As Jon Stewart asks, "Don't they have to be educated first?"
Remember that game you played when you were a kid. Well here is the political edition. Just having a little fun on a slow Tuesday. But feel free to add your own and vote in our poll:
Never Have I ever:
been a snowmobile champ
eaten a mooseburger
eaten green eggs and ham with the Palins
hugged John McCain while he wore his navy cap
been dumbfounded when asked how many houses I own
entered my wife in the Sturgis Beauty contest
been for The Bridge to Nowhere before I was against it
left a newborn child at home to go campaigning
looked like the confused one when compared to George W.
thought the economy was good in the past few years
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